Goodbye 2013, Hello to 2014

 To say we were ready to say goodbye to 2013 would be an understatement!  We had a great start to the year but it had a horrible ending for our family...

On October 8th our life was turned upside down. My vulnerability and security has been forever changed. We were awoken in the middle of the night by loud noises , I looked out side and saw the fire department at my neighbors house and before I knew it we were being taken out of our house because it was also on fire! Someone intentionally set three houses in a row on fire!!! It was a worst nightmare coming true. Because of the smoke damage we were staying with my parents when 48hrs later I got the call they came back and did it again!!! Thankfully everyone was SAFE and both fires were caught early so besides the smoke damage through out the entire house the fires were contained in the the basement.

This was the first fire on the side of our house by our gas line

I can't even begin to explain how I feel about everything and I think that is why I've waited so long to write about it. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about the what ifs, I know I shouldn't but it's hard not to. I've gone through so many emotions during this process its been the most extremely frustrating, difficult, overwhelming, stressful, scary time in our lives. I can go from sad, to f ing pissed in a second and I'm am even more of a freak when it comes to Stella then ever, I hate leaving her side! It makes me have major anxiety, I'm hoping this gets better with time. At moments it still doesn't feel real! How could this possibly happen to us??? Who would do such a thing and WHY? We live in a great community, a suburb about 25 miles from downtown. It's very family friendly, with awesome schools, lots of parks, nice people and nice homes! We've pretty much grown up here and for the most part have always felt safe and comfortable. So the absolute worst part about everything is no one has been caught and I will always have an uneasy feeling about this! I don't want to leave our life we've started here and I'm not sure we will leave the town but we've both agreed we could never live in that house again. It makes me tear up thinking about it, it was our first house, the house we brought Stell home to and created so many fun memories and now I look at it and it makes me sick to my stomach, I want nothing to do with it:(  The police department keeps assuring us that we aren't being targeted it was where our houses were. We live in the back of a cul de sac with no one directly behind us so it made it easy for this person to not be seen from the street.

This was the second fire started underneath our deck also in the basement. 

We've had new siding on back and side of house, two new exterior, interior walls( new studs and sheetrock), we've had to replace both windows, new carpet in basement and every square inch re painted. Pretty much everything in the basement has been thrown out because the smoke smell would not come out! A cleaning service comes in a cleans every, and I mean every thing thats left in your house. All textiles have been removed and brought to a laundry service (shoes, purses, clothes, jackets, towels, sheets, curtains,  really anythings that has fabric on it) That was one of the most overwhelming parts was seeing all your stuff being taken out and not having time to go through anything. Also when they delivered the finished product it came in 40 boxes and 17 feet of hanging... they said we may have won for the most clothes they have ever seen...can't say I was surprised but man has it been a bitch to go through! Anything to do with stella was also non salvageable, because anything that was plastic is hard to clean smoke off of and not safe if she sucked on it. This was very sad to see all her toys being thrown away and all the stuff we were saving for our next baby. I just have to keep reminding myself these things can all be replaced "it's just stuff"and to look on the bright side we get to go furniture/bed shopping

As of now we living with my parents waiting for the house to be finished so we can put it on the market and crossing our fingers it will sell quick. Everything has taken way longer then expected because our insurance company has been HELL to deal with and has made this way harder on us then it should have been. We love my parents to death but after three months we are driving each other nuts and I miss having our own family time. ( I'm really hoping we can move on before I totally go batshit crazy) Other things having been going wrong left and right like both cars having issues, 3 flat tires in a month on year old tires, washing machine over flowing and heat going out just to name a few. I feel like we've been cursed with bad luck...if anyone can undo the curse that would be much appreciated;) Thanks!

I live by this quote right now 

I know this experience will only make us stronger, better people! Estella really helps put everything into perspective for us, we are all safe and that is what really matters. The house can be fixed and things can be replaced. It has made me think about whats really important in life. This year I want to hold on to my loved one tighter, live in the moment, try not to sweat the small stuff and count my blessings! I love my family more then anything in the world and I thank god everyday for keeping us safe!!!

Stell Bell makes everything Ok, Love her so MUCH!

We are welcoming 2014 with open arms and hoping it has great things in store for us:)